In the future we'll all be gay
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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