Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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