go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
