Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
