After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
