nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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