I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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