I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
