I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
