If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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