first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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