Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
