I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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