There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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