I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
