WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
