White coat. Heels.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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