i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize