hotel room ftw
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
try to milk me bitch
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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