That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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