Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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