hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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