if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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