I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
