Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
