i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
