I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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