What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.