I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
