White coat. Heels.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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