Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
