Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
