32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
