He told me they were just razor bumps!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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