He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize