Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize