She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
