you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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