u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
