VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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