just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
