he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
