next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
