you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
