So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize