lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
