: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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