I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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