he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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