I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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