Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
