sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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