Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
