At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
