god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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