Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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