After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
