Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
