So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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