I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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